An excellent source of information for young and older.

My 10-year old stepdaughter started her first period while staying with us for the summer. I was worried about her comfort level with me in regards to the subject. I found this book in the local library and it was perfect. It is written in a straight-forward, but very comfortable manner. She read it front to back in about an hour, then she came to me and we looked through it together. It made conversation on the subject of puberty very easy. I learned things that nobody ever told me. I give it two THUMBS UP !!

Simple and wonderful.

My Aunt bought me this book two years ago during a period of stress in my life. Only now have I finally picked up this book, at another time of worry in my life. Thirty pages in it made a difference. I haven't put it down. It is wonderful. Thank you Toad. Thank you Heron. Thank you Aunt.

so helpful

Just completed my a/c day for hants- this book is a bible when it comes to gathering knowledge of what to expext and practice questions

The New Wave of Humanistic Psychology

The author, American psychologist Dr. Martin Seligman, is famous for his book Learned Optimism. And his new book, Authentic Happiness, is a useful addition with an especially good web site presenting personality tests. Not all psychologists, however, have agreed with, or found research support for, Dr. Seligman's theory of optimism. Some parts of this"Positive Psychology Movement" have been found to be too one-sided and unrealistic about optimism. The academic book about that more balanced research and theory is Optimism and Pessimism edited by Dr. Chang. That book has a chapter about constructive pessimism by Dr. Norem, the author of the Positive Power of Negative Thinking. Some psychologists say Dr. Seligman's theory of Positive Psychology is too much a 'one size fits all' model of healthy personality. Individual and cultural differences seem to be more important than Dr. Seligman implies -- his approach may be a bit too"American" and optimistic for some readers. The recent surge of research on Resiliency in psychology indicates that individual differences in personality are fundamental -- what helps me won't necessarily help you. Keeping an open mind while exploring psychological health seems to be the key. In any case, Dr. Seligman does present some of the answers for some of the people, and that alone is a very worthwhile contribution.

The one book

If there is one, simple, short book that one can read to change his/ her life, it is this. However one needs to read it slowly, with careful absorption, and with considered reflection to relate its contents to one's own life. It offers an immense level of comfort because it proves how simplicity, ease, joy, abundance and fulfilment can co-exist in a non zero-sum paradigm

Every school girl should be given one as a graduation gift

I read this and kept gasping in horror at the blunders I'd made. I thought it was too late but have changed my ways and now my boyfriend is so much more into me rather than running for the hills. Was recommended to me and I am doing the same. Word of mouth alone will sell this book. Best of all it's not too American and really makes sense. Helps up understand the dynamics at play in a relationship - also works the same way in reverse. Two of my friends fled from guys who were too keen too soon. She needs to write a version for the boys now too. Thank you Sherry and a big hug to you for sharing your learnings.

Helped alot

After passing this audio cd in the shops many times i decided this time to buy it as i suffer from very bad anxiety and i have to say out of everything that i have tried for anxiety this has helped me the most.<br />You are guided by a pleasant voice in to deep relaxation and by the time the cd has ended your whole body feels deeply relaxed you feel more positive and anxiety is alot better. I felt so much relief from my anxiety because of this cd.<br /><br />I hope to listen to other audio cds by Glenn Harrold

So, you want this job?

If you have been asked to go through an aptitude test, rest assured that you will find similar example questions in this book. It covers a wide variety of tests designed for graduate, senior and managerial positions in a wide range of industries. Furthermore, there are 35 tests designed by SHL, regularly used in the recruitment process of large-size organisations. The book is very well structured and the reader can easily spot and isolate the tests of interest. However, they are highly addictive, so you may end up spending hours or days, trying to solve all of them! There are also chapters dedicated to the preparation stage, the interview and the assessment process. The author does not try to cover all possible cases and questions you might encounter; she focuses on the key-elements that make a candidate successful and she manages to emphasize the important information while using a plain and humorous language. I strongly recommend this book!

A curate's egg: good in parts

Fundamentally, this is an interesting and useful book, because it provides a very descriptive overview of the personality types that are emotionally unavailable. My problem with it, however, is that there are better books on this subject available. <br /><br />When we encounter relationship issues that seem as inexplicable as they are frustrating, we need help in understanding the true nature of the problem. Often, we also need to see that a partner's dysfunctional behaviour may have nothing to do with us. So this book does a good job of explaining what you're up against. In that sense, it will make many people feel a lot better and stop them blaming themselves for something that isn't their fault. <br /><br />While many, if not all, of the personality types listed exist in some form or another, the reality is that you cannot categorize everyone who exhibits certain character flaws into a set range of groups. It is too simplistic. In the final analysis, this classification only helps you understand the problems rather than providing effective strategies for dealing with them.<br /><br />What you may really need is help on is evaluating the seriousness of the flaws we are exposed to. What often motivates people us to read books such as this is the need to determine whether a relationship can be salvaged or whether, for our own sake, we need to cut and run. The danger of the generalised profiles in this book is that they can lead us to form an exaggerated perception of flaws we encounter, or, conversely, to normalise behaviour that is totally unacceptable. So, don't rely on it alone. <br /><br />When we are the victims of unreasonable behaviour, we need to evaluate whether the perpetrator has one of three things:<br />1. A character flaw or psychosis that can relatively easily be addressed through therapy<br />2. A true personality disorder that may or may not be helped by sustained therapy over time<br />3. Serious mental illness that may never be overcome<br /><br />At the end of the day, we're all human, so we're all flawed to a lesser or greater degree. So what this book fails to provide an adequate continuum of behaviours across each personality type in order to help you evaluate the extent of certain the seriousness of certain signatures behaviors. <br /><br />I wish the book did more to help the reader address the problems. For instance, what are effective communication techniques to engage someone with serious issues? How should you set and maintain boundaries in such situations? What is an appropriate response to unacceptable behaviour? Another minor gripe is that this book seems aimed more at women than men. But men can equally be the victims of emotionally unavailable women. <br /><br />I don't want to be too hard on this book, because it has much to offer. Above all, it could be the catalyst you need to start taking control of a difficult relationship problem instead of being a victim.

Not exactly what it appears to be

There is a lot to admire here and I enjoyed returning to a genre (popular psychology) that I left many years ago. If my recollection is correct, Goleman ’ s book is a step beyond such “ classics ” as I ’ m Okay, You ’ re Okay..., etc., particularly in terms of scholarship. I liked the way he took the medical profession to task for its lack of empathy and its failure to provide emotional support for patients. He does not however address the cause, which is the desire of the AMA and its members to maintain the exclusivity and high economic status of the profession. I loved the affection Goleman showed for the children learning to be social.

However I don ’ t think the book is about emotional so much as social intelligence, and perhaps that is entirely to the good since social intelligence is a fundamental human need, and certainly for most people it is easier to learn social skills than it is to discard negative emotions and achieve positive ones. Most of the book is about how to behave effectively in society, how to make adjustments in marriage, on the job, with peers, at school, etc. Some space is given to the experiences in childhood that mold us emotionally (or so it is believed).

This is all fine, but I don ’ t think Goleman makes much of a case for changing emotions as he does for changing behavior. Of course, I ’ m all for that: if you don ’ t feel empathy, at least fake it! On page 107 for example he talks about the “ utter lack of empathy for their victims ” by “ child molesters and other such offenders. ” He describes “ one of the most promising treatment programs ” in which “ the offenders read heart-wrenching accounts of crimes like their own, told from the victim ’ s perspective. ” The psychologist who developed the program claims that the recidivism rate for those who complete the program is half that of those who did not receive the treatment. Even if true, it doesn ’ t follow that these guys learned any empathy. Most likely they learned more clever behavior, and of course the people who entered and stayed with the program are preselected to not return for any number of reasons, mainly because they ’ re smarter.

I have a similar objection to the idea (for example) that depression leads to increased death and disease. Certainly the life expectancy of depressed people is less than that of optimistic people, but it is not clear whether depression is a cause or a symptom. And the well known connection between social isolation and morbidity reported by Goleman doesn ’ t necessarily mean that social isolation kills, but could mean that people who want to die, first isolate themselves from society, which is the way in some cultures — or it could mean something else entirely.

I also object to the general idea that emotions, instruments of the evolutionary mechanism, can or should be much influenced by society except in self-defense. The purpose of many emotions is to drive the individual in a direction consistent with the needs of the species mechanism regardless of what society or the individual wants. The needs, concerns and prejudices of any given society are relatively ephemeral notions compared to the evolutionary imperative, and in many cases it ’ s a good thing we have instincts that override what society wants.

Goleman ’ s book is understandably written from the point of view of the society and as such puts social concerns first; however I am at that place in my life where I find the concerns of the individual to be more important. The (rather limited) psychological tradition that Goleman is an effective spokesman for, is not to me as important or as valuable or even as “ true ” as the psychological ideas found in the great religions of the world.

One last very important quibble: nowhere in the book is the most deleterious emotion mentioned or identified as such. That emotion is desire. Goleman, unaccountably, does not even identify sexual desire! He lists love in Appendix A but it is apparent that sexual desire is not part of that classification (p. 289). He allows that there are “ hundreds of emotions. ” The fact that he does not recognize desire would be amazing except we know that his readers would not like to hear about any problems with desire, and this book is pristinely PC with a clear eye to the marketplace. Desire is what keeps the economic machine of the society that he represents going! As the economists say, goods are limited, but human desires are infinite. Additionally the secret to avoiding the inevitable pain caused by desire is not any attempt to fulfill those desires, but to lose the desires. That formula would not sit well with his readers nor with his publishers.

Goleman is accomplished and clever. He went to the best schools and he has made quite a success of his education. He is politically astute, and he may be an expert on emotion, but he should know that the splashy idea of emotional intelligence is as vague, subjective and limiting as that of IQ, perhaps more so.

Great reading

Was great and useful reading this book. This is more than a book, this is a handbook to have near by and review everyday.

The best book on communication &reflective listening barnone

I regularly coach groups on interpersonal communication and have to admit that this book, for me, was a real gem of a find. I have read many books on interpersonal communication ... and have generally been disappointed on the coverage of reflective listening and communication barriers ... Bolton's book ... was simple, easy to understand, easy to learn and follow ... and yet dealt with fundamental communication skills that you generally only see expert coaches or counsellors use. Wonderful!

relaxed just reading it!

This is book draws on basic aspects of many of the disciplines and demystifys some of the potential compents of meditation/chanting/relaxation that can make the person with a lack of understanding of its benefits uncomfortable. It does not promote any particuar method in achieving the ultimate goal but allows, quite simply the reader to cherrypick the ideas that his lifestyle will allow. Its straightforward approach, coupled with its well laid out chapters and practical guidance on the CD really helps in achieving steps towards accomplishment with out despondancy. This author has his feet firmly on the ground, a sense of humour and insight into many of the common traits found in the average person.

You must read this

If you have lurched from one disaterous relationship to the next, try to control or fix everyone elses lives and think that there is something missing from your life and that you are not the same as other women then you are probably the adult child of an alcoholic (ACOA). This book was my road to Damascus, I saw the light as it where! It made me realise that these bad relationships are not my fault, my childhood has defined the way I act. This book it a must read and has given me the hunger to find out as much as I can about myself and ACOA. You will not be disappointed, this book has changed my life.

Careers empty promise

I particularly liked the chapter regarding rejecting careers' empty promises; how many times has one gained 'promotion' to find ourselves still lacking fulfilment, or more stressed out than before?<br />Ok, as one reviewer pointed out, you could omit growing your own food, or baking your own bread, to save money by doing a little overtime, but you don't learn anything new by doing so.<br />Unfortunately, the book doesn't have all the answers; eg 'give up your mortgage', to do what - rent?

Outstand Book To Get You On the Right Track

I found Paul’s book to be a wonderfully easy book to read. I needed to pause after each chapter so that I could dwell and soak up the insightful material. I bought another copy for my friend to have. It is a must have!!!

Validation for bodyworkers, healers and other practitioners

At a meeting I went to Candace Pert said she didn't quite understand why complementary practitioners needed her to 'validate' their work, that surely the fact that we (and our clients) know it works (when it does!) is validation enough.<br /><br />Perhaps she was just being modest here - I have to say that it is precisely the work of Candace Pert and others in the field that gives me, as a practitioner, a way to understand what is happening, and therefore a way of explaining to clients, in a clear way, what they may be experiencing, without it being 'spooky wooky - woo, you must be a healer' - which can be disempowering or frightening to the client, depending on their belief system 'the practitioner healed me' and also places burdens on the practitioner's view of themselves.<br /><br />Medical science also needed to understand 'what is going on' - and the respectability now of Psycho Neuro Immunology as a concept - due, in very large part, to Pert's work - means that without necessarily having any greater understanding of, or belief in, what 'goes on' in particularly bodywork and healing sessions, there is a greater willingness to suggest patients utilise this as adjuncts to conventional medicine. <br /><br />The placebo effect is finally achieving respectability in its own right - how the mind and body can affect each other, positively, is being engaged with.<br /><br />And .........on a slightly more humorous note, I have found it very useful to be able to blind a funding body with 'science' (which they didn't particularly understand) in order to get funding for one particular area where I work. This wasn't unethical, I had been asked to provide validation, and so had decided to ask clients to give subjective feedback of improvements in certain symptoms. A wiser person than myself said 'don't do that - provide some complicated science, they will be far more impressed'. So, to come back to Candace Pert's 'you don't need me to validate your work' - well, actually, we do!<br /><br />And...........for the non-scientific, this is actually a VERY clear and readable account of neurochemistry. Having struggled hard to wade through some scientific papers, eyes crossed and with wet towel clamped firmly to head, Pert was a breath of fresh air!<br /><br />Her individual journey is explored, and this is also very valid - there is of course a whole debate around how 'the observer' influences the experiment, so Pert's acknowledgement of WHO the scientist in the equation is utterly pertinent. The 'healer' and the 'client' engage together in a process - of course this does provide some stumbling blocks to the old double blind cross over randomised study, as the 'in the moment, this client, this therapist' is hugely central.<br /><br />Very powerful book<br /><br />However - Amazon, you have it wrong, this book 'Molecules of Emotion' is by Candace Pert - not Deepak Chopra - DC (wonderful though his work is) just wrote the foreword - there's somehow some sort of synchronicity going on here - often in 'science' the work of a woman scientist in the field gets unacknowledged or sidelines - cf Rosalind Franklyn's role in the 'discovery' of DNA.<br /><br />Yes, yes, I know Amazon aren't doing this deliberately, its an annoying inputting blip which means that a lot of books with Forewords end up being credited to the foreword writer, rather than the author, due to the foreword writer being listed first.<br /><br />I just thought it was amusingly illustrative in this case!<br />

it's a good book that just got better

I like the updated version of the book very much. Sue's style makes for both an easy and engaging read. The book is really comprehensive, covers all the key NLP topics, with a few new ones added. In particular, I like the new hypnotic language chapter - it's powerful stuff!. I like the way you can dip in and out of areas and it still makes sense. Plus the stories, thought-provokers and various quotes etc. make it a much more enjoyable read.

A great intro to some profound mathematics

I read this when it was published back in '79 and it helped inspire me to more fully understand the massive achievments of Kurt Godel and his quite astonishing incompletness theorem.<br />For the casual reader, this is a wonderful book that will inspire you and give you a glimpse into the unsettling world of axiomatic set theory and it's uncany relationship to the music of Bach and the artistry of Esher.